Donald Chandler

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."  Mark Twain

It is a great day for America!  I salute the U. S. Intelligence Community, the CIA, and the U.S. NAVY SEALS for a job well done!... eliminating a menace from the face of the earth... with NO AMERICAN CASUALTIES!  I tend to agree with Gary... and I would place my bet on Osama Bin Laden's destiny as crab poop (and maybe a "fiery furnace") rather than a party with 72 Virgins.  God Bless America!

Liz finished her "home therapy" for her knee last Thursday, and today was her first appointment with the Atlanta Falcons Physical Therapy Center here in East Cobb.  The Falcons have a chain of therapy centers here in Metro Altanta and around the state, including one near Athens in Bogart.  It's a very nice facility.  She is scheduled to do three weeks of therapy, three times a week.  She is not allowed to drive yet because of some of the pain medication she's on, so I have to be her chauffeur.  And if all goes well, and if the NFL Lockout continues, Liz should be ready to play quarterback very soon.

Liz wanted to get out for a little entertainment over the weekend, and Saturday we went out to see a really GREAT movie!... "The King's Speech".  In recent years, I have seldom agreed with the Academy Awards selections, but this movie deserved the Oscar as Best Picture.  For those not familiar with the story, it essentially focuses on the lives of two men in the days before and during World War II.  The first was King George VI of England (the father of Queen Elizabeth II, and the great-grandfather of the newly married Prince William, now the Duke of Cambridge).  King George had a severe speech impediment... he stuttered terribly... not a good trait for someone who has to do a lot of public speaking.  The second main character was the man chosen as his speech therapist.  The acting is superb.  It is not for everyone, but I really love history and the movie is really well done, and very inspiring... a story of overcoming adversity!  Liz is not big on history but she enjoyed it too.  The "stuttering" issue took me back to my days in grade school.  I had a good friend and classmate, Mike, who stuttered very badly.  I remember a day in the 7th or 8th grade when our teacher made each of us stand before the class and give an oral book report.  She forced Mike to do it as well, and it became a very uncomfortable, embarrassing scene, and the teacher would not let Mike sit down.  The entire class was practically in tears.  I will never forget it.  I guess all things work together for good, but it sure seemed like the wrong thing to do at the time.

Have a great week, mates!

Gary Grice

Greetings and salutations one and all.  Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood but rain expected later.  I have to go to Gainesville this afternoon so short day here in the office.  I trust everyone is having a good week.  Don, you should get you one of those little hats if you want to call yourself a chauffeur.  And since Liz will be playing for the Falcons, its only fitting that she have a chauffeur.  Glad to hear she is progressing - but look out!  After the rehab and strength training she will probably be able to deliver a pretty wicked kick.  Here's a little story to hopefully brighten your day. Later.

 Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student  said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.” The other student says: “No, I don’t think so.
The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.” Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him,“We’re medical students and couldn’t help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have.  Could you tell us what it is?” The old man said, “I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.” 

The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.” The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.” The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.” The old man said, “You thought – but you are wrong.” So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”

The old man said, “I thought it was GAS – but I was wrong, too!”

Gary Grice

I just checked the statistics page and was very happy to see some infrequent visitors have signed on over the last couple of days.  So:

Ross, Pee Wee, Bobby Sparks and Jimmy Tiller - you are hereby summoned to post a comment!  We want to hear from YOU (and everyone else)!!!  Even if its nothing but "XXX was here".   Please join us in some lighthearted banter.  Thanks.  Later.

Diane Harris (Moore)

 My comments on previous news:

"HaHaHaHa!! Gary, on all the jokes. I dont' know your source, but you know how to brighten a dreary day.

Don, so happy to hear that Liz is coming along so well. Awesome. We keep meaning to see "The King's Speech", but haven't so far. Maybe soon.

Jim, I trust that all is well on your side of the lake in Putnam County.

Connie, yes, a very evil man is gone, and I am in awe of the Navy Seals, and what they are capable of. And we'll never know their names.

Kathy, thanks for keeping us posted on Glen Nix's mother. You're so good at informing us.

To all the stealth people who Gary mentioned, yes, we'd love to hear from you. The neat thing about this site though, is that we can check in even when we don't feel up to posting. It would just be good to hear from you, that's all. I know I am so far away, that I get a true thrill out of hearing from my old friends. I am, and will always be, an Oglethorpe County girl, raised to love dirt roads, country sunshine, and old friends.  Gary, as said before, we all appreciate you so much for maintaining it. 

Glub, glub, glub, from rain soaked Greene County, Ohio.

Kathy Carter (Campbell)

Hello all,

I hope Liz continues to do well, Don.

Gary, you can always make us laugh. I hope you are okay & that your trip to the hospital went well today.

Yes, wish those checking in would stop in to say hello & let us know how things are going for them.

Glenn Nix's mama died last night . Lord & Stephens East has the services,with visitation Wednesday night & funeral services at 2 on Thursday. 

Remember our national day of prayer & Cinco de Mayo on the 5th. Our country certainly needs prayer. I do hope all of you have a lovely week.

Donald Chandler

NEWS ALERT!

This just in... More bad news for Osama Bin Laden:  A professional "medium" who communicates with the dead has been in contact with the late Al-Qaeda leader in the spirit world.  Getting blown away by U.S. Navy Seals on Sunday was bad enough, but it also turns out that whole "Muslim Paradise" thing was just a little bit wrong.  Instead of 72 virgins... it is apparently just one, 72-year old virgin.

More updates as they become available.

Reporting live... this is your Marietta Correspondent... Don.

Gary Grice

Sorry to hear about Glenn's mother.  My condolences go out to the family.

Uuuuuhhhh - a 72 year old virgin!!!! I can just imagine why!  There goes my lunch.  Not even a LITTLE BLACK DRESS ............ !!!!  Anywho, its a beautiful fall day here in the Classic City.  Took a stroll around the kingdom and got a little chilly - otherwise really quiet.  Trip to Gainesville was uneventful.  A no-show allowed me to move to the head of the line and got home about an hour earlier than expected.  Managed to get in a pretty good nap during the procedure so all in all, not bad.  If everyone is through laughing at the gas story, here are a few "one liners" to brighten your day.  Hope everyone is having a very blessed week.  Later.

************************

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and  Family values.
Bill said, ‘I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?’
Larry replied, ‘I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?’
___________________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: ‘Dad, where did my  Intelligence come from?’
The father replied. ‘Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.’
___________________________________________
‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ the divorce Court  Judge said,
‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.’
‘That’s very fair, your honor,’ the husband said. ‘And every now and Then  I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.’
___________________________________________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took  the husband
aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’
‘Me neither doc,’ said the husband. ‘But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.’
___________________________________________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has  been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, ‘Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.’
The old man says without hesitation, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’
___________________________________________
Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
___________________________________________
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ‘Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?’
The agent replies, ‘Just a minute’
‘Thank you,’ the blonde says, and hangs up.
___________________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.
‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.
‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’
‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’
___________________________________________
Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’
Joe: ‘Really?’
Moe: ‘Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’
___________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of  bathing suits.
It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I  had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.
‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’
‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ‘You’d never get it all in one.’
He’s still in intensive care.
___________________________________________
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of  thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even  more thunder rumbling in the distance…
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s  there.’

Ross Dudley

i wonder what was the last thing that bin laden thought about before he died. gary good joke about the stiff legged guy every one has had that syndrom or will have it inthere life

Gary Grice

Ross, good to "hear" from you.  I hope you come back and post often.  I'm not sure what Osama's last thoughts were, but I can tell you last thing to go through his mind ....... a bullet!! UUUhhhh, sick!!!  Well winter has returned to the Classic City.  BURRRRR!  Or maybe I'm just getting old.  Which is my segway into today's funny.  Do you remember life before computers?  Well maybe this will help jar your memory.  Hope everyone has a very blessed day.  Later.

Diane Harris (Moore)

 Jokes just keep getting funnier, Gary.

But, my real reason for signing in is so I can say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LINDA!"  I hope you have a great day, and that I get to read about all your escapades in the good old Oglethorpe Echo. I will be watching! Have a wonderful day.

To all my female friends also, may your Mother's Day be really special. I know it will be bittersweet for Inez's family, and for all families who have lost Mom, especially within the last year. May happy memories flourish for those who miss their mama, and may lots of happy new ones be made for you who are mamas, and who are blessed to still have your own.

May joy abound!

Connie Morgan (White)

Happy birthday Linda!!!

I've had the joy of being at Fernandina Beach for a couple of days.   Constant sound of waves rolling and breeze blowing.   Just beautiful and so relaxing...   Back to "life" and responsibility tomorrow, but so thankful for this time.

Everyone have a good week-end. 

Thoughts in honor of and memory of mothers everywhere.   Precious gifts in our lives.

Gary Grice

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDA!   I hope your day has been filled with much joyous celebration!!!  Not much going around here, just a typical Friday in the office - all the ladies take off and I'm left minding the store.  We started making big plans for the weekend and then yesterday we had to admit the little lady we look after to Hospice.  She has really gone down in the last week or two.  Its sad watching her body give out when her mind is so good, but then again my neighbor's mind has gone but she can still walk a mile.  Too bad they can't do one of those Frankenstein things.  The result would be one deceased body and one very active and sharp 80+ year old.  Well it sounds like everyone is waiting for some comic relief so here are a few one liners.  I hope they brighten someone's day.  Everyone have a very blessed weekend!  Later.

I asked my girlfriend if she was faking last night.
She said, “No, I was really asleep.”

I went to a store to buy some insecticide.
"Is this good for beetles?" I asked the clerk.
"No," he replied. "It'll kill 'em."

This Brit goes to Australia for a tourist trip and on the border they ask him if he had ever stayed in jail or had been arrested. So he says: "I did not know that was still required."

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

“Doctor! I think my wife is dead.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Well, the sex is still the same but the dishes are piling up.”

Jimmy Willis

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDA!!! AND I  WANTED TO WISH ALL THE

MOTHERS/MAMA'S A VERY HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! HAVE A GREAT

WEEKEND MATES!

LATER

Gary Grice

Here's  wishing all of the mother's a very happy day of recognition.   For everyone else, may it be a day for honoring your mother or honoring her memory.  To all that have served in that roll, thank you very much.  "The hand that rocks the cradle, will rule the world".  Happy Mother's Day.  Later.

Donald Chandler

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!... 

to all of you who are Mothers... or who have a Mother.

I offer this Mother's Day tribute to my own sweet mother, Sarah Louise Veale Chandler (1909-1982) who was thoroughly American, born on the 4th of July.  She was a farmer's daughter, and a farmer's wife, and a great mother. She was quiet, yet strong... hardworking and talented.  Not only was she a great southern cook and homemaker, she could write poetry, play the piano, and complete almost any crossword puzzle.  She had only an eighth grade formal education, but was a very wise woman.  She had few earthly possessions, but was richly blessed.  She loved God, her country, and her family.  Like the Biblical Matriarch Sarah, she gave birth late in life (my brother Ron and I were born when she was 41 years of age). She completed her earthly duties and passed away in November 1982, less than two months after she attended my wedding.  I loved her very much and still miss her.  The two photos below are my Mom as a young woman, and just before she died at age 73.  May God Bless her sweet memory. 

Donald Chandler

Good Monday Morning, Mates...

Will & Kate are still married... and Osama Bin Laden is still dead.

Hope you all had a great weekend celebrating Mothers.  The weather sure did cooperate!  Liz and I were back in church Sunday for the first time since her knee replacement surgery.  Being there with our friends sure is better than watching the service online like we have been doing for several weeks now.

A few days ago, I received a summons for Jury Duty here in Cobb County.  I report on June 13th to serve for about a week.  I'm sure that most of you have had the honor of serving Jury Duty at some point.  I have served a number of times through the years, in both Atlanta when I was single and lived in Fulton County, and here in Cobb County since 1983. It is one of the small prices we pay for being a LEGAL U. S. CITIZEN.  Here in Cobb County (and maybe statewide) I believe that the names for jury duty are chosen from the voter registration roles.  I have heard of folks that do not register to vote, just to avoid jury duty.  It is not my favorite thing to do either, but I beleive it is our DUTY as American citizens.  Our screwed up judicial system needs all the help it can get.

Say Jim... our Braves are on a roll, man!  They finally have the bats working to help that great pitching!  And the defense has been fantastic!...  Freddie Freeman and Alex Gonzalez are both amazing with the gloves... and Chipper an Uggla too!  So far in the month of May, we have seven wins and only one loss... and that includes winning two of three from the Phirst Place Phillies in Philadelphia over the weekend!  Great baseball!  Fun to watch!  GO BRAVES!

By the way... Liz and I watched the Kentucky Derby on TV Saturday.... and when they played "My Old Kentucky Home", Liz stood tall with her bum knee, shed a tear, and joined in singing, as usual.  Some of her Louisville cousins from the old neighborhood where she grew up around Churchill Downs were there on Saturday to watch the Derby in person.  I put my money on "Harry Trotter", but didn't win because there was no such horse.  :-)  Actually, I was pulling for "Pants on Fire"... the horse with the female jockey.  I think she finished ninth.  It's a good thing I don't bet on the horses. 

Good to hear from you, Ross.  Actually, I believe Osama Bin Laden's last words may have been "&$%#@#" which is Arabic for "Oh sh--"!

Have a great week, mates...

Gary Grice

Greetings and Salutations one and all.  I trust everyone had a great weekend and Mother's Day or Woman's Day to be PC.  I understand those who are not mother's were being offended.  I'm offended so maybe we should leave off the "Wo" and just call it "Man Day".  I'll bet someone would be offended by that too.  No problem!  We could just call it "Day".  But what about the Night?  I'm sure it would be offended also.  I guess we'll just have to refer to it as " " before long.  Don, I am performing my civic duty this week.  Spent all day yesterday in a courtroom going through the jury screening process.  I thought I would be cut early since the plaintiff was a female Navy Lieutenant.  It was about 3:00 PM before I was cut.  Now I have to call back everyday to see if I need to return the next morning to serve.  This is only the second time that I have been summoned for duty.  The first time I was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean headed for Africa.  Well while its still known as "Mother's Day", here's a little funny to brighten your day - or maybe warn you.  Hope everyone is having a very blessed day.  Later.

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

Jimmy Willis

Don, I bet if she had been wearing a "little black dress" she would

have won by four furlongs!!!! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING BOUT! Those

guys would not have been able to find the gate!

Let's not talk about the BRAVES! Every time we do they get on a

losing streak!

Have A Great Week Mates!

Later

Gary Grice

Greetings and Salutations one and all!  Its a hot one here in the Classic City.  I've been excused from further Jury duty so you've got me the rest of the week.  Their loss is ..... your loss I guess.  Looking at the lead news stories today there was one that caught my eye that will be right up Jim's alley.  To make a short story long, a few years back while recouping from some surgery I was watching some really informative TV and saw a story on the History of the Golf Ball!  Did you know that more patents have been issued for redesigns of the golf ball than any other piece of sporting equipment?  Its true.  They showed this "vault" where someone had one of each produced down through the years.  But the most unique in modern history was the "Polara".  It was created by a Physics professor who arranged the dimples in such a fashion that it always flew straight.  I found the story quite interesting and since I was playing golf, poorly, at the time, I decided I needed one of those balls.  I searched high and low but to no avail.  I did read that the Polara golf ball was outlawed by the PGA - like I cared!  My neighbor who played two or three times a week had accumulated a massive number of previously lost balls and gave me a bucket full to "practice" with.  My independent practice was to see if I could drive them across the lake near my house.  One fine day I'm out there digging holes with my driver and I just grabbed the next ball from the bucket, perched it upon the tee, began a mighty back swing, eyes on the ball - when what do I see?!?  The name on the ball said - "POLARA".  Needless to say I dropped my club and retrieved that ball quickly.  I have kept that ball for years now even though my golfing days have passed.  Now as I began this long dissertation I noted a story of interest today .... it was on the POLARA GOLF BALL!  So Jim ole' buddy, go out and buy yourself a dozen!  As long as you don't hit it straight into the woods, it should be money well spent.  Hope everyone is having a very blessed week.  Later.

Gary Grice

Greetings and Salutations one and all!  And an early HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Susan!  May it be a day of joyous celebration for you with your loved ones.

Sorry no funny today and I will be away from the form for a few days.  It is with a heavy heart that Sherron and I will be awaiting the death of the little old lady she has been caring for for the last five years.   I will be leaving shortly to attend a service conducted by a Rabbi as the doctor has given her 24 hours to live.  She has been so good to us.  Sherron moved her to Hospice last week and spent last night at the facility and says she won't leave her side until she passes.  Its tough but good.  Miss Shirley is 88 and lost her son to a sudden heart attack 5 years ago.  She has a sister (who she dispises) in Miami but no one else.  We became her family following her son's death.  Please pray for Sherron as this pending loss is rougher than she anticipated. 

I hope everyone has a very blessed weekend.  Later.

Diane Harris (Moore)

 Have no news, but enjoyed reading the news and jokes from all of you. I just wanted to comment to say how very sweet Sherron is (and you, too, Gary --I say begrudgingly) to have become family to that little lady who is now dying. If I ever end up in that lonely position, I sure hope someone as kind would be there with me to the end.

On that somber note, I bid you all a happy Friday the 13th. May your smiles exceed your frowns.

Gary Grice

Greetings and Salutations everyone and happy Monday.  This was a very busy and trying weekend for the Grice's.  Thurday afternoon a small group of friends gathered around Miss Shirley's bed as the Rabbi read prayers over her.  Sherron spent that night with her and I returned at 7:00 Friday morning.  Sherron went home to shower and grabbed a nap before reurning about 4:00 PM.  Sherron's sister and brother who is a Methodist minister came about 7:00 PM and as we gathered around her and prayed, she passed away about 7:20 PM.  Saturday morning we made preparations for her cremation and began notifying friends.  Life must go on and we worked until after 9:00 PM last evening cleaning out her room at the assisted living facility where she resided.  Now our living room is wall to wall "stuff" that we must disburse according to her wishes. Miss Shirley was a unique individual to say the least and she will be greatly missed by Sherron and I.  (Miss Shirley Kasser)  I will be working to get back in the groove and hope each of you have a VERY BLESSED week!  Later.

Donald Chandler

Gary... my sympathy to both you and Sherron on the loss of your friend.

Gary Grice

Greetings and Salutations one and all.  Its a beautful FALL day here in the Classic City.  I noted on Facebook that it was cool enough that Dick and Diane had a fire in the fireplace last evening.  How romantic - (you old dog you!)  There may be snow on the mountain but there's ...... Anywho, hope everyone is enjoying the cool weather as much as they are.  Don, I watched a bit of the Braves last evening but got so frustrated with them leaving everyone on base that I decided to play Wii instead.  Maybe you and/or Jim being our resident baseball experts can answer a question for me that has bugged me for years.  WHY CAN'T A PITCHER HIT????  What is that with the wussy strike out bunt????  SWING at the dang ball!  After all, he should have the strongest arm on the team!  He should know how the ball acts/reacts and be an expert reading the pitch .... So what gives?  I know for someone who studies baseball that may be a stupid question and that is my subtle segue into today's funny.  Hope eveyone is having a very blessed week.  Later.

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.

Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress: "My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

Gary Grice

OOPS!!   I just did a look back and noticed that I missed Jane (Griffith's) birthday on the 15th.  Sorry Jane.  HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!  I also noticed that you have been learking in the shadows .... like several others.  Leave a note here on the forum and let us know how you are doing.  We ALL want to hear from you.  Again.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, hope you had a very blessed and joyous day of celebration.  Later