Sixteen Commandments for growing old:

1. Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice. 
2. Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.
3. You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
4. Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
6. You have days when your life is just a tent away from a circus.
7. These days, "on time" is when you get there.
8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.
9. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
10. Lately you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
11. "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why you're there.
12. When you were a child, you thought nap time was punishment.   Now it feels like a mini vacation.
13. Some days you have no idea what you're doing out of bed.
14. You thought growing old would take longer.
15. Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
16. You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.

Submitted by Stan Needham