1959-2009 Differences


HIGH SCHOOL -- 1959 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1959 --  Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.  They agree to go hunting Saturday.
2009 --  School goes into lock down, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or his shotgun again.  Counselors are called in for traumatized students and teachers - except for the Vice Principal who is never heard from again.

Scenario 2:
Bill and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1959 -- 
Huge crowd gathers.  Mark wins.  Bill and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 --  Police are called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest Bill, Mark, and two students who appeared to be actively rooting for one or the other.  They are all charged with assault and are expelled.  Everyone who was standing around watching the fight is given a one day suspension and stern warning.  Most students get an Unexcused Absense check mark the next day since there's nobody there.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1959 -- 
Jeffrey is sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal.  He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
2009 --  Jeffrey is tested for ADHD and given huge doses of Ritalin.  He becomes a zombie and is placed on the school's "At Needs" list.  The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1959 -- 
Billy is more careful next time, grows up normally, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 --  Billy's dad is arrested and prosecuted for child abuse.  Billy is placed in foster care where he rebels and joins a gang.  The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy's mother has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1959 -- 
Mark shares an aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2009 -- The police are called.  Mark's aspirin is confiscated and he is expelled from school for drug violations.  His car is totally dismantled in a search for drugs and weapons.  The Principal disappears.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1959 -- 
Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college, and ends up running a very successful lawn care and landscaping business.
2009 --  Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.  ACLU files class action lawsuits against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher.  Pedro's cause is taken up by the state legislature.  English is then banned from the school's core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot read, write, or speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes some leftover firecrackers and blows up a red ant bed.
1959 -- 
Ants die in an impressive mushroom cloud of dust.
2009 --  ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are called and a SWAT team surrounds his home.  Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism and interrogated in a secret base located in a foreign country.  The FBI investigates his parents, and his siblings are removed from the home and placed in foster care.  His home is searched and the porn pictures under his mattress are found.  Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and sexual predator list and is never allowed to fly again or go within a mile of any school.

Scenario 8:
Billy falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.  He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary gives him a hug to comfort him.
1959 -- 
Billy stops crying, feels much better, and runs back to play on the jungle gym.
2009 --  Mary is accused of being a sexual predator, is suspended, and then fired. Others come forward claiming she hugged them too.  She is arrested and faces 9 counts of sexual contact with a minor and 9 consecutive sentences of 3 years in State Prison.  Billy undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Scenario 9:
Ron's coach swats him on the butt as he enters the dugout after hitting a home run.
1959 --
  Ron doesn't notice since he's too busy doing high-fives with his teammates.
2009 --  A video from someone's smartphone is featured in the sports segment of the local TV news.  Ron's coach is barred from all athletics, quits, and ends up driving the street sweeper for the local mall each night after it closes.  Ron's parents, on the advice of the school counselor, take him out of school to attend a one year course in sexual identity recognition and management.   He never makes it back to graduate but moves to New York and is starring in an off-Broadway all-transvestite show.

Scenario 10:
Doug wears a t-shirt to school with a caricature of the president on the front.
1959 -- 
Nobody knows since it's under his long sleeve, lightly starched, button-down-collar shirt.
2009 --  Doug is suspended and sent home.  After a media circus involving the school officials, the school board, the PTA and the ACLU, the school changes their dress code back to a much earlier version allowing only long sleeve, lightly starched, button-down-collar shirts.

Scenario 11:
Diane is late for class and runs up the down-only stairway.
1959 -- 
Diane makes it to class on time.
2009 --  One of the hall monitors reports Diane for the infraction and for being in the hallways without a hall pass.  She is suspended for two days.  The students and the PTA boycott the school since there is no way to get from a class at one end to the other in the time allowed.  The school promises to pay more attention to classroom locations when scheduling, and then floats a 1.5 million dollar bond issue to widen the old stairways and install two new stairways.

Scenario 12:
Steve squishes the mystery meat patty in his school lunch into the shape of a gun.
1959 -- 
Steve eats his mystery meat patty.
2009 --  The lunchroom monitor turns Steve in and he's suspended indefinitely.  His parents are not allowed on school property to pick up his little sister after school.  He is finally allowed to return to school after he and his parents go to counseling and attend a mandatory sensitivity training class.